Finally for today

Chef quits the South Park Elementary School cafeteria

SOUTH PARK, CO - Chef, the long-time cook at the South Park Elementary School cafeteria quit after the school served up a disgusting version of a dish from Chef's culture. Speaking outside the school, Chef complained that such a disgusting dish only made his culture look bad and that he had to quit because of it.

School officials defended the choice of food at the cafeteria, saying that in the past, Chef gladly served up dishes that were pretty distasteful to other cultures with his usual gusto and advice to the little school children.

Catholic League president Bill Donohue said that it “is nothing short of amazing” that the school is charging Chef with intolerance and bigotry for not complaining earlier about all disgusting things the school served up to the kids.